


Push me away

by Notevenwinded



Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:28:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notevenwinded/pseuds/Notevenwinded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony manages to fall in love. The feeling isn't however mutual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Push me away

This couldn’t be happening to _him_. It wasn’t acceptable, not right even. After Pepper he tried hard to stay away from any commitments and just face every “relationship” by his standards to the minimum. Yes, he sobbed and drank for quite a while after the whole phase but she was with Happy, moved on, and so he did eventually, glad that the Avengers filled some sort of gap in his life. _That’s right_ , he would say to himself after an old fashioned one night stand, _no more relationship drama and crap._ He tried once, failed, didn’t want to go through it again.

Well, that was before Mr. Capsicle came along. Captain America was the stoic, kind hero he read about as a kid, just like he was described to him and a useful ally. Steve Rogers on the other hand was really.. terrified and sad looking. Or that’s how Tony saw it. He couldn’t blame the guy, he had been through a lot in so little time, he had much to learn and pretty much everything shocked him. Tony felt obliged to help him stand on his own after he saw with how much respect he would refer to his father. Of course, the Howard Steve had knew wasn’t exactly the same person Tony remembered of. In different times, he caught himself being jealous of Steve’s and Howard’s relationship and he made it obvious to Steve so he could put an end to this.

Then again, Tony wasn’t known for being gentle, as he only managed to offend Steve and refused to talk to him for days. Eventually they made up and promised not to mention Howard out of context. They started bonding again, spending more time together, Tony struggling not to actually “like” this guy in a way that it would make things awkward. Steve himself was making this harder, both his character and appearance failing to go unnoticed.

 _No, Tony, this guy is way too good for you,_ he lectured himself, imagining Pepper’s voice. _Don’t you dare mess with this guy’s life, he doesn’t deserve it. He wouldn’t want to put up with you._ Yeah, sounded like something she would say.

Yet Steve carried on, giving him more attention than any other person, complimenting him, even being there for him when he had too much to drink after an unsuccessful business agreement. Tony couldn’t help but fall for him, and it scared him a lot. He wasn’t used to those feelings, and he wished he could stop them from manifesting. The harder he tried to stop them, the more he felt the need to be with Steve. All the time. He wished that Steve would push him away, but the fact that he didn’t, but kept wanting to spend time with him made it worse. It was too late to stop getting his hopes up, almost impossible. He needed to tell him something, be more subtle than usual and let fate decide. Not that Tony Stark believed in fate, but again, it did sounded more hopeful.

The chance came on a night after a long, tiring fight, Tony ending up with large bruises on his arms, and despite repeating for almost 20 times than he would be fine, Steve insisted that he would at least let him put some ice on him. There, he was doing it again. Caring about him.

It was pointless to protest, and Tony was sitting on the infirmary’s desk, his undersuit half lowered as Steve fetched some large ice packs, placing them gently on the bruises, his eyes lit up with worry. Deep, blue eyes, worrying only about him.

“Tony? Are you all right?”, the Captain spoke and Tony realized that he was staring.

“What? Yeah, yeah it just feels good and I spaced out. Thanks, no need to do this though”   

“It’s no problem, that’s what good teammates do, Tony”

Teammates. Not even friends. No, he wouldn’t get upset about this.

“Oh? Am I just another teammate then?”, he asked, trying to sound calm.

“What? No, I mean, you’re also my friend, showing me things and all”, Steve replied, looking mildly confused.

“That’s a shame, I really like you, Rogers”, Tony blurted out, maintaining his usual cool self. “It would be nice if we got to learn more about each other”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Did you get hit on your head as well?”, Steve rushed to say with the same concerned look, placing the pack on Tony’s forehead instead, only for Tony to shove it away.

“Would you date me, Captain?”, Tony demanded, leaning closer.

“I can’t talk from a female perspective but I’m sure any woman would be glad to have you”, Steve said mechanically.

“I wasn’t talking about a woman, Rogers, I was talking about you. Would you kiss me, hold hands, sleep together, whatever? It’s not just a female privilege, you know”, he emphasized his words, finger stroking against Steve’s sharp cheek.

“No.. Tony, I can’t, I need to go..”, Steve said trembling, moving back and touching the spot that Tony was stroking a second ago.

“Well, I knew you didn’t like me, so why give me the pointless hope anyway?”, Tony shouted, jumping down and holding his arm with a groan of pain.

“I do like you, Tony, as my friend and teammate, I’m even glad I’ve met you”, Steve insisted, refusing however to walk closer to him.

“And I’m glad we cleared this out”, Tony said coldly as he fixed his posture and brushed against the tall man by the door. He locked himself in his room, panting heavily, sat by the bed, stopping as soon as he heard some hesitant steps, stopping outside his room and then walking away.

Even after this sort of confession, he was still giving him hope. He absolutely despised that, not Steve by any means though.

Tony Stark had this particular talent of ruining everything he cared about. He just had to be so blunt and destroy every chance he had with Steve. His head rested between his palms, refusing however to shed any tears. His eyes spotted a half empty bottle by the table, his hands trembling as he reached for it and sat on the floor, back against the mirror. It was just another casual night for him, but Steve wasn’t there because he managed to push him away himself. Another night of drinking and laughing himself to sleep, a sad laugh that resembled crying. He just couldn’t help it. He was just hopelessly in love with that man.


End file.
